Intimacy Intervention: ‘He Cheated, Now I’m Always Dry Down There?’

By Abiola Abrams

Passionate Living Coach Abiola Abrams gives love, dating and self-esteem advice on the CW's Bill Cunningham Show and all over the web through her hit web series AbiolaTV. Now she wants to help you keep things spicy and fresh between the sheets. Are you in need of an intimacy intervention? Just ask Abiola!

Dear Abiola,

For the past year, sex with my man has become very uncomfortable. Everything was fine for four years then we had a situation happen where I busted him cheating on me – multiple times. I forgave him after six months, but we still can’t our groove back in the bedroom.

Now, I’m very, very, very dry during intercourse. I have tried lubes like Astroglide but that only helps for like a minute. The Sahara Desert is painful, uncomfortable and embarrassing while I’m trying to heal my relationship. I am at my wit’s end.

Are lubricants the only solution? I feel seriously unsexy.

Help please!

Signed,

Need Some Rain

My Dearest Rain,

I’m so sorry that you’re experiencing this distress. Birth control, cigarette smoking, certain medications and herbs, immune disorders and douching can all cause vaginal dryness. You also want to avoid personal hygiene sprays, scented soaps and bubble baths.

Personal lubrication comes from the increase in blood flow during the moments when you’re aroused. There are many physiological reasons for vaginal dryness but the source is usually a decrease in estrogen. Hormonal changes caused by pregnancy, changes in your menstrual cycle and breastfeeding may all cause dryness. You didn’t mention your age but intimate dryness is often a symptom during and after menopause and even perimenopause.